[understanding of opportunity -30]: Guiguzi - internal "chapter - empathy, stand on the other side's position and narrow the psychological distance with the other side

Catalog

Preface ：

Guiguzi original text

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Reading

case analysis

Summary of key steps

The first point ： Seek the same （ Opposite =》 On the same front ）

Second point ： hit on what one likes （ On the same front =》 Pain points to solve ）

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Preface ：

The core of "Nei" is to understand the real thoughts of the other party's psychology , Go deep into your boss's heart , Know what they really think , In this way, I can make my advice hit the pain spot of my boss , Your own suggestions can be adopted to the greatest extent . Speak to each other's heart , Instead of floating on the surface , A big lesson . This requires standing in the other side's position , Experience each other's psychology and difficulties , The other side will relax their vigilance , Express what the other person really thinks , In this way, we can get the core elements of persuading the other party . This is the important role of empathy .

Guiguzi original text

 Those who do it without seeing its kind , See the inverse , He who speaks without feeling , See wrong .
 Get their feelings , It is the art of making it .

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 Anyone who doesn't know the same kind of situation wants to do something , It is easy to be rejected ;
 Anyone who doesn't understand the other party's inner thoughts will lobby , It is easy to be criticized .
 Only knowing the truth , To formulate and implement their own strategies .

Reading

key word ：“ See the kind of feeling ”, The key is that you don't rush to convince the other person , But first roundabout to shorten the emotional distance with each other , Let the other party Think you and he are the same or have the same feeling , So you can convince me later , It's much easier .

So-called “ class ”, Is the same kind , It's between you and the other party position equally 、 You are in the same situation as the other party 、 You feel the same way about the other person 、 You think the same as the other person , Especially the same position , Different positions , The same thing , There is a completely different approach .

Stand the same , Comrades , It is the contradictions among the people , Otherwise, it is the contradiction of the opposite , Contradictions among the people , It is much easier to solve .

case analysis

 During the warring states period , The state of Qin took advantage of the unstable alternation of the regime of the state of Zhao , Attack the state of Zhao on a large scale , And has occupied three cities of the state of Zhao .
 The situation in the state of Zhao is very critical , So he asked the state of Qi for help .
 The state of Qi must let chang'anjun, the youngest son of Empress Dowager Zhao, be a hostage before it is willing to send troops to save him .
 Empress Dowager Zhao dotes on Chang'an , Stubbornly refuse to , As a result, the crisis of the state of Zhao has deepened .
 It's no use trying to persuade the Empress Dowager Zhao 

In this context , The counselor touched the dragon and set out , Let's take a look at how he skillfully used the internal skill to persuade empress dowager Zhao ：

As soon as the Dragon saw the empress dowager, he said he was old and had bad legs , And take care of the Empress Dowager's health , The two of them chatted about health preservation , In this way, the two old people suddenly drew closer , The hostility of Empress Dowager Zhao has been eliminated a lot .

Tentacle dragon deliberately asked the Empress Dowager to let his son be the guard of the imperial palace , All of a sudden, she found a common language with empress dowager Zhao, who doted on her little son . Induce empress dowager Zhao to say “ Do you guys love your little son too ”, The Dragon seized the opportunity to say “ Better than women ”. Cleverly led the topic to Chang'an Jun .

Then he touched the dragon with several rhetorical questions ： The descendants of the monarch of the state of Zhao were granted marquis , Are there any descendants who can inherit the title ？ The queen said ： No, . Touch the dragon and ask ： Not only the state of Zhao , Are there any descendants of the descendants of other feudal states still alive ？ The Empress Dowager said she had never heard of .

Then he touched the dragon and hit the Empress Dowager's key , He said ： You love Chang'an so much , He was rewarded with fertile land and various treasures , But he has no credit , How should he get a foothold in the state of Zhao ？ You should let him become a hostage and make contributions to the country ！ This is the real long-term plan for our children .

The Empress Dowager suddenly realized , Say to the dragon ： But it depends on how you appoint Chang'an Jun . 

Summary of key steps

The first point ： Seek the same （ Opposite =》 On the same front ）

He said he was in poor health , Talk to the Empress Dowager about health and health preservation , Closer to each other's feelings , Stand in the other side's position , Make the other person feel that you are “ similar ”,“ comrade ”, Not the enemy , Not the opposite , Create a good atmosphere for the later lobbying .

Seeking common ground is the first step , It's the foundation , It's a stepping stone , Only seeking common ground is not enough .

Second point ： hit on what one likes （ On the same front =》 Pain points to solve ）

Seeking common ground to the opposite =》 On the same front , hold “ The enemy ” Transformed into ' comrade ', It has turned into contradictions among the people .

But to solve the final problem , We should also resolve the contradictions among the people , hit on what one likes , Grasp the pain points that the other party may object to or the most practical relationship problems of the other party .

, Tentacle dragon deliberately seeks work for his son , Find the common ground of the Empress Dowager doting on her young son .

in the light of common Of Pain points , Analyze your feelings 、 Experience , Parents should love their children “ The plan is far-reaching ”, Is to make long-term plans for their children , You can't just covet some small profits at present . So the other side can Willing to adopt Your suggestions and ideas .

The perfect internal skill advocates “ to close To use Inside ”, That is, go deep into each other's inner （ The core of the inner circle ） The world , Make each other Emotional harmony , Create good conditions for lobbying the other side . 

Empathy can be used in any situation where you need to communicate with the other person , Including daily communication 、 The negotiation of the opponent 、 Selling products to customers 、 Give advice to your boss, etc .