Teach you to write non maintainable PHP code step by step

With the unemployment rate getting higher , Many people realize how important it is to keep their jobs . that , What is keeping your job , And a good way to make yourself irreplaceable ？ A simple fact is that as long as no one can maintain your code , Then you will succeed in keeping your job . Writing non maintainable code is a special skill , But it's strange , It seems natural for some developers . But for the rest of the developers , Here are some tips and tricks to get you started writing non maintainable code .

The first thing to do

First step , Start looking for a job . You should look for the right company , Where you can unleash and realize your unmaintainable potential . You don't have to be part of the company PHP Daniel, it would be better . When looking for a job , If the job description mentions the need to migrate from other to PHP （ So you know you're in charge ）, Or you can search for that need 10 year PHP5 Misleading work experience , Coupled with skilled use FrontPage and Netscape Composer .

Once you get this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity , Take steps from day one . Speaking at the meeting , Let your opinions be heard . Talk about object-oriented architecture , Enterprises , the reform program , How to make good enough better , Of course, you have to make corresponding commitments . Make sure everyone consults with you on important coding issues .

Non maintainable core

Inspired by excellent articles “Writing unmaintainable code” （ People who want to keep their jobs will see ）, Here are two important concepts you need to master and master ：

You should make it impossible for others to modify anything easily , Unless he destroys something else .

Maintainers don't have time to understand your code . Maintainable code means being able to quickly locate specific parts of a mountain of code , Be able to quickly understand how it works and modify it without breaking something . You can't do this . Don't let others easily search for something or find it where they expect it to be .

Your code cannot “ look ” It's not maintainable （ Because others will doubt ）, It has to “ yes ” It's not maintainable .

The code should look normal to the maintainer , But give them a surprise when they least expect it .

Best practices

Prohibit code conventions . There is no end to the abuse of coding and naming conventions . Such a situation must not occur in your excellent organization . You have some awesome projects to do , You can't spend countless hours discussing tab Or space . Besides , An agreement is a restriction . If a new employee is hired , And he is not used to your agreement , He'll be in pain . Unhappy programmers are inefficient programmers . Anyone who asks you will explain to them . Let everyone write code in their own style . As for your own code - Change your agreement . On Monday camelCase Naming of small hump , On Tuesday all_lowercase All lowercase names , Mix it on Friday , At every 2 month 29 Japan Use Hungarian nomenclature .

Don't write notes . Your code is beautiful , It does not require comments . If someone doesn't understand your code , Then it is very likely that they are not such good programmers . If , If this is possible , You are forced to write notes , So direct and exaggerated . Describe in detail the most obvious and least important code , Skip other .

Use Notepad encoding . Or use another editor that doesn't show code indentation . Make others suffer and eventually leave the team . So you don't have to listen to their complaints all the time . If someone asks you why you use Notepad , Be prepared to explain ： Because it comes from Windows （ The only one today , An operating system for creative programmers ）, No necessary training is required , And at no cost . I believe you can find references on the Internet that you can use any program , even Word, To write your web code , But only Notepad is the real authority , After all , Only you are the authority of the people employed by your company .

Reject unit tests . Explain to anyone who questions you , You are hired to write high-quality, bug free code （ therefore , There is no need to test ）. Why would a sane person take the time to write unimportant tests to verify that the code works properly ？ Some things in life are like - The sky is blue , The sun rises in the East , Your code is working properly , So thank you very much . continue （ Like a comment , If forced to take the test , So be prepared to test the obvious and skip the rest ）

Do not use a template engine . The template engine can help you distinguish between the business logic layer and the presentation layer . It can guarantee the maintainability of the code, so you can't follow this rule .PHP The father of Rasmus Lerdorf Said ：“PHP Template engine ”. Even if you have to use a template engine , Also find a way to abuse it , For example, put some business codes in the template , Or be careful to HTML（ and CSS and JavaScript） The code is mixed in the database access layer .
Generally speaking , Try to put your... In the same line of code PHP,HTML,CSS and JavaScript The code is rightfully mixed together . stay PHP Create... In code JavaScript And with inline styles HTML Code . If someone asks , Tell them this pattern is called “ encapsulation ”, You will take full responsibility for your code .

version control . Although this is hard to avoid , But getting rid of any form or version control is worth trying . You can prove to everyone during the discussion that this improves the communication between team members , Instead of relying on cold-blooded version control software . If you don't convince anyone , Please don't despair . You can submit without commit all . Keep some of your own code locally . So if someone other than you tries to build and deploy , These small and deadly code snippets will destroy the project . If caught , Just argue that the code is not suitable for display , After all , You have submitted high-quality code and excellent solutions that can educate the junior team . These little boys and girls will look up to you and look forward to it ！

Build a framework . Then you inevitably become an architect , Your authority is beyond doubt . So you can add some secret conventions （ Of course, most of them are sometimes contradictory ）, Even the most experienced maintenance personnel are not aware of . Your framework will be responsible for everything , No one needs to bother to understand it , Everyone will be very happy because you make development easier and improve the productivity of the whole company . Don't publish your framework as open source , because a) This framework is the company's asset and the company has invested a lot of money , b) The open source community will laugh at you , And this will be the end of your bluff .

Naming is related to

Your variable name should be a little mysterious , It is better to have only one letter . In this way, no one can find the required content through simple search .

Class names and methods are best defined with a single letter . If you really want to define a normal name , Use it all the time —— remember , The best way to hide information is to use it frequently . When the same name is used repeatedly （ be called “ Object oriented programming ”） when , If you put parentheses and curly braces on a new line , This will help improve the readability of the code , And let teammates look for anything in your code , You have to go over regular expressions . Think about it ：

$noodles = 1;

  class

  noodles

  {

      var $noodles = 2;

      function

          noodles            ()

      {

          $noodles['noodles'] = 'noodles';

      }

  }

  function

      noodles() {

          return new noodles;

      }

  $noodles = noodles();

  var_dump($noodles);

You can also use fancy character sets to name variables . Cyrillic alphabet is very suitable , Because some letters look like Roman letters , But it's not （ All of these ：xopekacMEBCTAKXOPH）. So the following output is ：

$alert = 1;

 $аlert = 2;

 echo $alert;

If the second one alert In Cyrillic letters “a” start , Do not place ！

Quote relevant

Even if you define something very normally , But that doesn't mean you can't use it in interesting ways . The main weapons are ：

eval()

Volatile variables

Mutable class , such as $strudels = "noodles"; $noo = new $strudels;

call_user_func()

Basically any language structure that treats code as a string is your good friend .

// calling abc();

 $z = 'A';

 call_user_func($z .'bC');

Capitalization

Letter example , Function method names are not case sensitive , Abuse this feature .

function abc(){

    echo "abc";}AbC();

On the other hand , The key of the array （key） Case sensitive , Also abuse this feature .

$a['UseConvetionsOnlyTobreakThem'] = 1;if (isset($a['UseConvetionsOnlyToBreakThem'])) {

    // ??  Capitalization  B !!1!}

rewrite

Override global variables in unexpected situations , Especially super global variables . Rewrite as early as possible ${}_{G}ETCountGroupinOfBelong\; tosex,manyTimeheavyWrite,$_POST The same is true . stay $_REQUEST Do some obscure rewriting on as embellishment . If it's in WTF-ed On , You can explain that you are preventing users from entering XSS attack 、 Injection attacks and other virus attacks .

Control structure

Use 、 blend 、 Match all alternative if,while,for,foreach,switch grammar . If asked , All of these , Please explain that you are training new employees to learn the real language .

if ($a > 5):

  if ($a > 4) {

      while ($a > 0):

        echo --$a;

      endwhile;

  }endif;

Nested ternary operators , There's nothing better than this 、 More concise code .

//  Guess what the output here is echo true ? 'true' : false ? 't' : 'f';

stay for In the circulatory system , Add again $i To keep everyone's attention . perhaps , By not using $i To realize the surprise of cyclic increment . never .

Nested loop 、 thorough , Then suddenly jump out of them （ loop ）. image break 2 and break 3 Such code is stored for entertainment , Especially when mixed with strange indentation code .

This is the beginning ！

That's all for today . I hope you believe you can do it yourself , You can also write non maintainable code . Now your future is in your hands ！ Of course , You can also write readable code , But at the risk of being replaced .

Practice makes perfect.

 Original address ：http://www.phpied.com/how-to-write-unmaintainable-php-code-2009/

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