It's eleven again. Those jokes about nagging programmers going home for blind dates

   Eleven, the long vacation is once again , As a qualified programmer , Besides going home to my friends' weddings 、 Party playing cards 、 Talk about the experience of hair planting , What else ？ you 're right , Be on a blind date ！
   It is estimated that before the festival, the family has arranged for you and Uncle Wang's daughter next door 、 Lao Li Tou's granddaughter , And the child who once lived in someone else's house , What's the name of older leftover women now ？ Ma whamei ？

Today I'll talk to you about those interesting jokes about programmers' blind dates , It's recommended to take a look in the car home , Joy, joy, joy , Get on the bus quickly ！

Who then? , Nail the window this time ！

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0、 The rules of communication

On a blind date with the programmer that day , At the restaurant ;
The programmer's little brother stood up , Put out your hand ;
I shook it in a friendly way ;
Shake hands with me again after loosening ？？？
Just sit down and shake hands with me ……
I was just getting angry
Then the guy said ： Okay , We can communicate
The girl ：？？？？？？？

1、 Inherited parent class

I asked the boy ： Can you do housework ？
The young man's face showed embarrassment ： Can't , Only my mother does housework at home ……
The girl ： Then why don't you learn from your mother ？
The boy pondered for a long time ： Um. …… Because I only inherited the parent class ？
The girl ：？？？

2、 This demand can't do

The blind date asked me what I wanted to eat ,
I ordered two durian egg tarts , Say one person eats one ,
The boy glanced at the menu and said ： This demand can't do ……

3、 Why be a programmer

The girl ： Why did you choose to be a programmer ？
Boy ： I loved playing basketball when I was a child , Later, my idol recommended me as a programmer .
The girl ： Who is your idol ？
Boy ： Jordan

4、 disappointment

I thought I'd do it with one IT It's fun to be in love with your children .

Until that day, she was invited to study at the hotel ;

Girl said ：402.

I ：？？

Come on , Popularize it ：
StatusBadRequest = 400
StatusUnauthorized = 401
StatusPaymentRequired = 402
StatusForbidden = 403
StatusNotFound = 404

5、 Migrant workers in the new era

Boy ： Hello, my job is a programmer .
The girl ： Programmer , What's your monthly salary ？
Boy ： More than 10000 points .
The girl ： According to big data analysis , Your salary is not a programmer , At best, he's a yard farmer . To put it better, it's migrant workers in the new era .
Boy ： Elder sister, you know so much

6、 The most romantic poem

Boy ： What's the most romantic confession you've ever heard ？
The girl's face enjoyed ： Hills have trees, but no branches , Yue jun xi jun do not know .
The girl ： And you? ？
Boy ： There is... In the world 10 people of the same race , One is binary , One is that you don't understand .
The girl ： Your math is taught by the bathhouse ？

7、 Different

Boy ： What do you think is the biggest difference between our programmers and other professions ？
The girl ： At the subway station
Boy ：？ metro

8、 Is there anything else you want to ask me

The girl ： I think we may be a little inappropriate , Why don't we start today , Do you have anything else to ask me ？
Boy ： forehead ? Oh, what's the proportion of five insurances and one fund ？
The girl ：…………

9、 Why don't you have a girlfriend

After a while with the programmer guy ……
The girl ： You have good conditions , Why don't you have a girlfriend ……？
The young man's face showed embarrassment ：“ My ex girlfriend wants a bag ……”
Boy ：“ I've been writing code for a long time …… Just write out a package that I think is relatively perfect ”
Boy ：“ But my ex girlfriend said I didn't know what she wanted …… She doesn't want this bag ……”

10、 Sparkle point

The girl ： What do you think you shine ？
Boy ： I don't have any bright spots , But every time I walk at night, it saves electricity .

11、 End the blind date

After buying the order , End the blind date .
The young man waved to the girl before leaving ;
The girl also waved her hand politely .
Then the boy waved to the girl again ……
The girl tm A slap on his face , I let you wave ~
The boy got up and said , no way , The connection hasn't been disconnected yet , It takes up resources .

12、 What do you like best

The girl ： What do you usually like best ？
Boy ：coding.
The girl ： What are you bucking ？（ Frown tight ）

13、 income

As soon as you enter the house , Income is the focus of everyone's attention , It's the same in front of girls .

When a girl asks you , How much money can you earn a month , Be sure to correct her. You have an annual salary .

If your income is not high , Don't panic , Be sure to say it lightly , We CEO Said the , The company will go public next year .

After all, when most girls hear the term listing, which is very far from her life , It's still easy to shake the tiger's body , At that second, you are a potential stock .

When I say that , You have to believe , You CEO A cake drawn in front of investors , Must be better than you in front of a girl , Mostly .

14、 Parking Rate

A must kill question that girls will open at the right time is , How much is the parking fee in your community for a month ？

This question seems common , But the waves are rough , First , You have to have a car .

secondly , The parking fee in your community determines the grade of the property .

Third , If your garage is self purchased , Probably you have a house in a big city .

therefore , The most appropriate answer is ： Which suite are you talking about ？

15、 Professional degrees

If you happen to meet a girl, it's … Colleague …

Please be sure to tell her , Alicloud used by your company …….

O & M does not work overtime ！ Only Alibaba cloud ！！

16、 Fate

Boy ： What's the best programmer you've ever seen ？
The girl ： Our company bought a system before , Once something went wrong , Special card , Then they found a programmer to repair , Going to the bathroom , It's fixed , Too cattle ！
Boy ： Oh , I was before, too , The customer said that our equipment card , I can't find the reason , The boss insisted that I go to the scene , When we arrived, we changed the mouse pad for the customer , Troubleshooting ……
The girl ： Oh ？？ You are big XX The company's ？
Boy ： You are little ** From the company .
The girl ：…

17、PHP

PHP The programmer , I often laugh at myself for making pornographic films , Because the abbreviations of Chinese Pinyin are consistent .
The girl ： What do you do ？
The guy said in a humorous tone ： ha-ha , I made porn ~
The girl slapped and shouted ：“ You stink **”. The air rushed away .

18、 Colleague

The girl ： Are you a programmer ？ We are also peers
Boy ： Is it? ！ Do you do front-end or test ？
The girl ： I'm a product .
Boy ：… Oh , What do you usually work for ？
The girl showed her nostrils and said ： Write ppt ah , Then hold a meeting to discuss （ tear X）.
The girl ： Um. ？ Where is everyone ？

19、 Address

The girl ： What's your address ？
Boy ：173.108.22.6
The girl ： No , What I asked is your local address .
Boy ：127.0.0.1
The girl ： alas , I mean, your physical address ！
Boy ：39:01:77:62:88:13
Boy ： Why don't you talk ？
System prompt ： The other party turned on friend verification , You're not him yet （ she ） Good friends . Please send friend verification request first , After the other party has passed the verification , To chat .

20、 Blue screen

Boy ： You know what? ,windows11 We developed it , Our group has solved the blue screen problem that has plagued us for more than ten years ！
The girl ： Too cattle ！！ When I go back, I suggest that the company install windows11.
The girl ： by the way , How did you overcome this problem ？
Boy ： forehead , The boss asked us to change the color .

21、 Don't fiddle with other people's code

The girl ： What is your greatest weakness ？
Boy ： Too much responsibility .
The girl ： Do you have the responsibility to calculate your shortcomings ？
Boy ： Once I saw a colleague write too much code low, While he shit with pay , I helped him change , Then I never ran again .

It's the end again , Iron seed , You know what I mean ~

Civilized whoring , Remember the praise. ~~.